forever young

March 7, 2009

  one of the coolest artist in the whole wide world passed away and probably rapping his way up to heaven and doing a high-five with whoever is up there…then remembers his loved ones and looks down on earth and wondered how are they going to live each day of their lives without him…he then becomes sad and realized that it was too early to leave them behind…it was too soon for his wife to wake up in the middle of the night crying and wondering why there is a big spot of emptiness in the house…his kids, friends and other people are probably saying to themselves “it’s ok, he is in a better place now” or “it’s ok, at least he is no longer suffering” … then they sit in one corner and for some reason their tears come rolling down their cheeks…it won’t stop. the tears won’t stop.. the pain won’t go away… thousands of stabs in their chest won’t stop and living becomes impossible because in reality …. they knew that never in their lives again would they see him smiling one last time, they would never hear him laugh one last time. they would never get to touch him or hug him one last time. they would never hear him call their names one last time. never.

 
Thank you for the song “kaleidoscope world”. it was an eye opener. 

I would really love to ask death how he or she (or whatever “it” is) sleeps at night when he see how the love ones grieve over the people he took…or if he even sleeps… i know i’ll have my chance to ask him that but when that time comes… i hope the husband and i  have secured our kids future.

makes me wonder why the hell on that particular day i just sat on the corner of my bed for a good half an hour with my mind blank and i was just looking at the trees outside the window… maybe if i got my ass running to the car after that phone call from my brother…i would have seen him alive one last time and maybe got the chance to hold his hand one last time and maybe he got to squeeze my hand one last time and maybe got to say “goodbye” and “i love you” one last time.maybe.

I so hate myself right now…. Emo mode activated.

If I see death I would beat the crap outta him and tell him “that’s for taking my dad and my grandma and clio and chase and my favorite rapper” then i’ll help him up and tell him “ok, let’s go”  and let him take me wherever all dead people went..and maybe apologize for ripping his hood off his head.

haay. buhay parang life. ganun talaga. unahan lang yan.